35 days

I recently realized I am an extreme person -- all or nothing -- no middle ground (except in my dating life which is just all sorts of grey). When I was a kid my mom said I never wanted to do solo activities. A habit she tried very hard to break me of, and ultimately did, as I have no problem doing anything by myself these days. And after telling her about my decision to travel for 35 days, by myself, to a country where I don't speak the language -- I think she is mildly regretting her 'do it by yourself initiative'.

If you haven't been able to tell I am pretty bad about consistently blogging, but here are my top 3 from my last 72 hours.

1. You no longer have to remove your shoes when going through airport security. 

2. The people. Everyone I have met has been uber friendly and helpful. Yesterday, I started my day off with a "free walking tour" and I met several other women travelling alone -- whom I bonded with over the fact that we aren't allowed to tell anyone we are travelling alone. It turned in to an all day affair, lunch and drinks where past presidents used to get wasted, and a tour of the catacombs where over 25k people are buried. Fun Fact: the bones have been artistically arranged for decoration. (Who got that job?!?!)

Also, running into several people that work in progressive politics in the states too reminded me of just how small the world really is.

3. Pisco. It is an alcoholic Peruvian beverage made from grapes. It may be better than tequila my friends. Definitely planning on bringing back a few bottles. Did I mention that every tour guide (3 and counting) has talked about this beverage for at least 10 minutes. It is a serious source of pride here.

Pictures to come soooon!

I met them all on Wednesday.

I'm fairly certain that I'm going to meet the love of my life in New York. On Wednesdays I tend to meet  a new bloke that toots my horn. Here are 6.

Bloke # 1. The Century 21 manager who so kindly gave me his coffee when i was about to go narcoleptic on the subway and then so sweetly offered me a significant discount if I would visit him at the store he managed. Thank you. But I think we should ask your wife -- if your going on a date with me is a deal breaker for her.

Bloke # 2. The random guy who I talked with at 4am on the PATH platform -- small talk does not mean you can shove your tongue down my throat. I know you were a bit shocked that I pulled back, as you stated, "It's because I'm white, right?" It is not because you are white. It is because a lady such as myself needs to be properly courted, which did not happen during our 2 minute convo. And you were a bad bad kisser, like circa my first kiss in the 7th grade.

Bloke #3.  The fact that you have childhood pictures of you with Barbara Bush scares me and that's why I could not stay over. And you called me an ebony princess more than once. I consider myself mocha. And I only hook up with republicans in DC.


Bloke #4. I have not been with a white women in 10 years. [Me neither]

Bloke #5.  I want two boys, and however many babies it takes for me to get them. [I am not an easy bake oven]

Bloke #6.  I bought you three drinks, how many more until you're in my bed? [About 7. Then neither of us will remember what happened and only if you live in brooklyn and only if you're moving countries soon]

FWIW -- None of these lines worked, which is shocking because I've always wanted to be a token, who mass produces spawn, after a few happy hour drinks.

Scattered

There is no rhyme or reason to this post. I just felt like writing. To my one follower, I apologize for not updating this blog more frequently. 

I have reconnected with my first love and have been hopping to as many places as I possibly can -- Bangalore. Paris. Chicago. Vancouver BC. Seattle. Berlin. Prague. Providence. Mysore. Kansas City. Austin. San Diego. Portland. Raleigh. Floyd. Goa.

As for my 2012 resolutions, I still have not made it to Idaho. However, I learned to whisper and can demonstrate this on demand.

I met Biden. I left a job. I started meditating. I launched a company.

I learned that in New York, let's have a cigarette means  -- let me stick my tongue in your mouth. That a night cap is not the last drink of the night -- but is the adult version of let's watch a movie. And that McDonalds is the best place to meet a boy after 2am.

I took a new gig. To my surprise, no one has yelled at me in a week. My colleagues have not hacked my email. I have off today and no one called me to revoke my vacation this morning. And no one has asked me questions about my sex life in a staff meeting. #Progress

I realized that a large portion of the guys I've dated move to Chicago. Does this mean I should avoid this place or hop a flight immediately??

Mama Duke: will you be having gentlemen callers?

I can be pregnant or I can live in Jersey, but I cannot be pregnant and living in Jersey. So, I invoked my inner guidette, and gave her a "getthefuckouttahere" expression. Six months later - for the first time ever, I broke one of my rules, and began dating. I've had some glorious experiences that have helped me create some dating "if yous." So here were go.

If you...

give me an intersection to meet you at and not an actual place - I'm going to assume I'm starring on an episode of SVU and demand to talk to Olivia.

bring another girl on our date -  she better be picking up the check and you should be excusing yourself immediately for an "emergency." I can only entertain one pussy at a time.

offer to buy me a canoe - you need to purchase it immediately. Talk is cheap.

take me out in gang territory, while dressed like this - I will assume you like to get robbed and not feel guilty about the shots of Jameson I'm going to proceed to put on your tab.

ask me on a date while wearing a wedding ring - I will need your wife's permission for our field trip, a copy of your tax returns, access to your summer home, the last 4 digits of your social security #, and a map to your morals.

Please tell me I am not the only person that finds herself in these situations...