I'm fairly certain that I'm going to meet the love of my life in New York. On Wednesdays I tend to meet a new bloke that toots my horn. Here are 6.
Bloke # 1. The Century 21 manager who so kindly gave me his coffee when i was about to go narcoleptic on the subway and then so sweetly offered me a significant discount if I would visit him at the store he managed. Thank you. But I think we should ask your wife -- if your going on a date with me is a deal breaker for her.
Bloke # 2. The random guy who I talked with at 4am on the PATH platform -- small talk does not mean you can shove your tongue down my throat. I know you were a bit shocked that I pulled back, as you stated, "It's because I'm white, right?" It is not because you are white. It is because a lady such as myself needs to be properly courted, which did not happen during our 2 minute convo. And you were a bad bad kisser, like circa my first kiss in the 7th grade.
Bloke #3. The fact that you have childhood pictures of you with Barbara Bush scares me and that's why I could not stay over. And you called me an ebony princess more than once. I consider myself mocha. And I only hook up with republicans in DC.
Bloke #4. I have not been with a white women in 10 years. [Me neither]
Bloke #5. I want two boys, and however many babies it takes for me to get them. [I am not an easy bake oven]
Bloke #6. I bought you three drinks, how many more until you're in my bed? [About 7. Then neither of us will remember what happened and only if you live in brooklyn and only if you're moving countries soon]
FWIW -- None of these lines worked, which is shocking because I've always wanted to be a token, who mass produces spawn, after a few happy hour drinks.
Bloke # 1. The Century 21 manager who so kindly gave me his coffee when i was about to go narcoleptic on the subway and then so sweetly offered me a significant discount if I would visit him at the store he managed. Thank you. But I think we should ask your wife -- if your going on a date with me is a deal breaker for her.
Bloke # 2. The random guy who I talked with at 4am on the PATH platform -- small talk does not mean you can shove your tongue down my throat. I know you were a bit shocked that I pulled back, as you stated, "It's because I'm white, right?" It is not because you are white. It is because a lady such as myself needs to be properly courted, which did not happen during our 2 minute convo. And you were a bad bad kisser, like circa my first kiss in the 7th grade.
Bloke #3. The fact that you have childhood pictures of you with Barbara Bush scares me and that's why I could not stay over. And you called me an ebony princess more than once. I consider myself mocha. And I only hook up with republicans in DC.
Bloke #4. I have not been with a white women in 10 years. [Me neither]
Bloke #5. I want two boys, and however many babies it takes for me to get them. [I am not an easy bake oven]
Bloke #6. I bought you three drinks, how many more until you're in my bed? [About 7. Then neither of us will remember what happened and only if you live in brooklyn and only if you're moving countries soon]
FWIW -- None of these lines worked, which is shocking because I've always wanted to be a token, who mass produces spawn, after a few happy hour drinks.
