This Is Why I'm Single - Installment #2

Sometimes it's not them, but us. 

Yes, I said this:

[procreation]

Logical Person: Is there a possibility?? Whose would it be?

Me: I know it would be half black, half republican. The bigger question is, how would it vote?

[relationships]

Me: he picked me up wearing a red sox's hat, clearly we have different morals, so i refused to get in the car, i knew it never would have worked. 

Logical Person: but what if he took off the hat

Me: he did, but by that point he was tainted.

[dating]

Logical Person: just ask your friend for his number since he was so great.

Me: no because then she would know who I had sex with.

Another single said this:

[breakups]

Single:  "Well I was drunk and at the time his arguments seemed reasonable since I can't tell him the real reason I'm ending it is because the sex is so bad. So, we're still together."

[hooking up]

Single: WAKE YOUR DICK UP! WAKE YOUR DICK UP! (this is screamed @ 4am, outside of a guys apt)

Sometimes I look like this:

I just had to take time to acknowledge that while it's usually them, sometimes it is US. Enjoy the douche bag of the month story below!

 ***Douche Bag of the Month***

story via another single lady:

The most recent This Is Why I'm Single incident is from this guy who was def not the usual date i would choose...but I am attracted unfortunately to the asshole, so I thought a change of scenery was in order. These are a few things he thought necessary to say to me via text right after our date ended and he left --

date: i could've fucked you silly. sexy ass 

single: what a very rude and disrespectful comment for a first date 

And the one I got the morning after the first date  --

date: " wake that ass up, lol. good am. come out here later this am. want to show this bed." 

[[[[dating against your type can lead to this]]]]]

Call A Spade, A Spade

Rule # 22

If you can flood the ocean from your tears, but can't remember the last time you've smiled - cut the umbilical cord and move on.

Honestly Speaking

Another new weekly addition:

I have been told continually to be thankful that I missed the pitfalls of being a [young] [black] [woman]. Meaning that I didn't validate a stereotype: not a teenage parent, not a high school or college dropout, not a drug addict, not dead or in jail. To think about how far I've come from where I started: graduated college, lived abroad, traveled through Europe, apartment of my own. And what I think is, why should I be grateful for what I've earned, for everything that I fought not to be. Why should I be grateful for the minimum.

Do I hold myself to standards that seem impossible based on where I've come from, maybe. Yet to define myself on where I've started, instead of where I want to be, seems to be defining my milestones based on what others think I can achieve. It feels like I'm undermining the concept that hard work and determination can lead to great things. It seems inhibiting, demeaning, like the achievements that people stop dreaming about because they limit themselves to only what they think they can accomplish based on where they have been. It's living in the past, when the future is the only thing I have the power to effect.

I look at progress based on where I should be and where my peers are regardless of my race, gender or class. [should] operative word - perhaps a bit idealistically.  I know after much reflection that the reason I didn't hit the pitfalls is because I was paddling so hard to achieve something else, not by chance or luck.  It's this same ideal, that made me view taking a chance as the way, because the chance didn't seem like an option, but the only method to get what I wanted, while friends of mine looked at me as if my course of action was  certifiably nuts. Yet, to me it seemed the most logical route.

I guess what I'm saying is -- if I defined myself based on what people tell me to be grateful for or begin to look at everything from somebody else's perspective - then I fear I would never actually achieve what I want, because it's that same perspective, that validates being stuck in mediocrity, that can justify failure as a result of circumstances with or within your control: your childhood, your income, your family. Am I being hard on myself, probably. Could this be self-destructive, perhaps. Yet I think to myself, my mentality could push me to achieve beyond what I've ever fathomed, because I continue to see the world as if I'm an equal to everyone else, and strategically try to determine why peers or mentors have achieved more. More so, because I refuse to see the world in a way in which its gaze demonstrates that my indefatigable ideas should be tamed and that I should look for what is comfortable, convenient or more "realistic."

I'll admit it - I get disappointed when it seems that hard work doesn't actually mean I won't end up exactly where I don't want to be [as in where I sit right now], particularly in a world where you can continually prove yourself but not progress merely on the wimps of others. At this very moment, I refuse to accept that I should be thankful for my current situation because it could be worst and refuse to dwell on it and become bitter in the same breathe because it should be better. [the end]

In case you don't know by now

A few tidbits about this blogher.

Patience is not one of my virtues. Unless, you're a mentally challenged person and thus you comprehend differently, but if this is not the case -  I have a low tolerance for bullshit of any kind.

My face says exactly what I'm thinking - unless I need a poker face ie dealing with the cops or the president. If  I look happy then don't worry. If it's a "wtf" look then change your behavior.

I love my birthday, it's the best day of the entire year - the only day that's absolutely about me and spending it with people I love. I always rock-out on October 30th. If you miss the party - then you've probably missed some memorable moments.

I always have a plan, if I've said something or done something, it's never an accident (unless it's a physical response). There's a method to my madness.

 Lastly, I firmly believe, if there's no body, there's no murder. Be careful who you cross.

Thanks for listening. Please check one of the reactions at the bottom of this post.