Wednesday, June 13, 2012

How not to have the worst sex of your life with the cheapest man you've ever met

If you like your man alpha and with cash - meet him on a Wednesday -  it's sports night and pay day.

Don't assume he speaks English. If the only phrases you've heard all night are "let me buy you a drink, don't get sick, and let's dance" it's safe to assume those are all the words he knows.

If he's in khakis on Friday or Saturday night, with his shirt tucked in (or if it's pastel) --  I PROMISE you it will be the worst sex/date of your life. Don't ask how I know this, I just do. Just back away slowly.

Everyone is a stranger, until they give you a compliment. So once you've exchanged names, twitter handles and subway stories - it's cool to roll back to his place. You're now best of friends.

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