I AM BAD ASS

First off new york is by far one of my fav cities - it is the only place that i can lose my license, but not my wallet - see a man with a sock on his hoo hoo wearing a cape, yet he looks appropriate - where i can be on a rooftop watching fireworks, next to a model having a photo shoot, and a couple practicing the meringue. its definitely the city where randomness coincides in a completely run-of-the-mill way.

Kansas City aka KC, now has a special place in my heart - mostly bc of the ridiculousness that began at the airport. What do you do when you're at the airport 3 hours before your flight time?? You hit up the bar - i made 4 drinking buddies (one who was on her way to rehab - hope it works out this time M) - and one who happened to be on my flight (the 3 vodka tonics on the plane was an ingenious idea).

I'll sum up the weekend in a few phrases: cougars who give lap dances, kissing as a negotiation technique, french fries as chasers, and mind blowing bbq. if none of this appeals to you we had at $125 bar tab for dinner and 12 rounds of drinks for 5 people!

I would like to thank my coworker for reminding me not to drunk dial - "if my dad had not drunk dialed my mom, i would not be here." drunk dialing can lead to children - got it!

On Saturday - i jumped out of a perfectly fine plane - skydiving is amazigness - the feeling of floating in the air is exhilarating! As the guy i jumped with stated during our free fall "this is bad ass" which translates to i am bad ass! Look at the pic below that's 20 minutes before i jumped, the only reason i didn't wear a skirt is bc Carol forbid it....

P R I D E

It's one of my favorite times of year - big floats - outrageously dressed individuals - alcohol flowing all day - followed by a ridiculous night of dancing with people in fairy costumes and crotchless pants.

This weekend my friends was P R I D E. As tradition would have it - i had my palm read - The Big Question - was she as good as my other palm reader, Marla. Here is what Tina thinks my palm says:

You love to travel, more than almost anything. (T / F)

If you're not in love from the waste down - your relationships fail. (T / F)

You've had your heartbroken 3 x. ( T / F)

You will meet your soul-mate in your career, probably law, and you don't want to date anyone right now -- correction you don't even notice men right now, they hit on you and you look at them like they are crazy . (T / F)

You don't like living in one place for too long. ( T/ F)

Hmm what else happened.... sorry thats all i can recount - womp womp - i did find one picture





I have some adventures planned - a trip to new york - a trip to KC - a trip to Cali - a trip to another city (tbd)- a trip to Shanghai. let me know if you want in ...

BTW i know this is my first post in 7 months - just a brief recap of what's happened.

1. went to italia - hiked cinque terre - did a pub crawl - ended up at the vatican hungover.

2. lived in london. quit job. left london. moved in with my bf. met al gore. got new flip flops.

3. got a job in dc. got an apt. became single. got some fudruckers. had some wine. purchased hafeezah.com

thats all folks..

Dubs and the Dam

Dubs aka Dublin

Where do I begin - our hostel was named The Shining and it did the movie justice. The hostel reminded us of Annie's room at the orphanage and to get to our beds we had to shimmy as there was no room if you walked normally. I have pasted below the review I posted on hostelworld.com to give a more detailed description of our experience there!


"We booked a room for 12 and there were 14 beds jam packed into a room. My friend's bed( aka Sharonda's) was pushed together with another bunk bed and she was laying directly with a random guy- there was no room to separate the beds. My friend (aka me) definitely woke up with a rash from the bed. The bathroom showers leave very little to the imagination ie you can see through them besides one strategically placed stripe across the shower door."

NEVER stay at THE SHINING! - EVER!!!!

Temple Bar area was fun and I swear its was the first time I've seen an entire city drunk. I have a lot of funny catch phrases from that weekend and I did met A LOT of interesting characters. Examples ......

Andres entering the girls bathroom, "Haffa are you taking a taco?" Please note "taco" is code for the dirty dirty in the bathroom. I am in fact at this very moment looking for Andres on the street as he has abandoned Sharonda with Mustafa/Mufasa who is relentlessly hitting on her!

More about Mustafa/Mufasa...who is mad that I am dating this "white guy" Andres (Andres is not white -he's Peruvian and Paraguayan) and we are in fact just friends. Mustafa has a change of heart about "my bf Andres" in an attempt to build solidarity tells Andres "When I look at you all I see is Black, we're all black!" - huh?

Drunk Guy who has befriended us at the fast food place shouts to the cops, "He's not homeless, that's my Uncle Fancy!" Uncle Fancy is in fact a homeless man that the drunk guy was feeding, Drunk Guy and Uncle Fancy then got arrested! (We ate the rest of his fries lol)

The city was ridiculous overpriced a burger would cost $12 and that didn't even include fries which would be an extra $4. I think this was my first and last time I'd ever go to Dubs!

The Dam aka Amsterdam

After my experience in Dublin with the hostel - we opted for a hotel - Thank god!

Amsterdam is gorgeous the canals reminded me of being in Venice. If you go, you must stop by Anne Frank's house - definitely worth the money. For the record, the street and the sidewalk are one in the same - resulting in a couple of near death encounters with the trams and the vicious bicycle riders!

I must mention one quote from the trip, "Cavemen have rules too Haffa, I swear!" -Andres
The funny thing is he was dead serious -- how special!

Translations UK - US

Soft Cheese = Cream Cheese
Public School = Private School
State Schools = Public School
To Let = Rent / Lease
Cheque = Check
Muppet = Idiot
Pin (pronounced penny, usually said by old people) = Apron
Tipex = Whiteout


Next on the list: Italy (Rome and Florence) - Prague - Madrid - Home ( in 47 days woo hoo!)

Click this picture for pics from Dublin.

Dublin

Click this picture for pics from Amsterdam.

From Amsterdam

La Fabulosa Ciudad de Barcelona

What I like about Barcelona
* People look you in the eye - unlike London, Paris or NYC people actually acknowledge your existence (and not in the creepy predator way)

* Night life - it doesn't get started until midnight and doesn't end until 8am - it's better than Vegas!

* Taxi Drivers - if you compliment them they are willing to take you to the McDonalds drive thru after the club. Example: "OmG your muscles are so big"

* Beach life - people are topless, some even naked and NO ONE cared = people aren't as uptight

The Many Uses of the Pashmina

Pashimina: a cutesy name for a scarf (I thought it was only a fashion accessory - but it's so much more)

1. As a blanket - on an airplane

2. Makes you look presentable to go into god's house - one must have their shoulders covered to enter El Catedral de Barcelona

3. As a babushka when it rains

4. Beach towel - makes the beach chair softer

Translations (UK to American)

Petrol - Gas
Solicitor - Lawyer
Waffling - When someone talks in circles or uses flowery language. Example: "The person kept waffling on!"
Bollocks - technically means " testicles" used as bullshit or f*ck. Example: "Bollocks to the rules"
DJ - Tuxedo
A-Levels - SATs
Cheeky - Snooty
College - High School
University - College

Sidenote: None of the elevators have door close buttons - don't people want the door to close faster?

What's next....

Dublin - Italy - Prague - Madrid - Home (less than 72 days until im home!)

Want to see pictures, click here.